What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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