Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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