two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
