She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
