these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
