it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
