Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize