I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
