people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
