last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
