The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
