bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
