you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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