okay pat passed out under dana's car
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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