I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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