Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
