It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
