I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
