So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We need to get me chipped asap
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
