Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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