you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
