strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
