FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
