Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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