I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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