She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
