if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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