Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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