I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize