I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
