It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
