That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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