Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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