I'm lost and stupid without you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
