Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was like having sex with a tree stump
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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