People with herpes should wear stickers.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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