she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
