Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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