Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
