So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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