I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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