dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
