I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
