By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
