If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
