Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
