eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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