Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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