He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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