If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
