Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
