A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize