i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
