giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
