the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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