Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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