Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
