Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
