Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
