I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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