new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
