Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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