Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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