no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
