After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize